Is Wellness Culture toxic?
It might be time to exhale.
Toxic. That word seems woven into our modern lexicon and can express anything from relationships to food choices. The third definition of toxic in Merriam-Webster appears to be the most appropriate for what we might refer to as toxic in this context – extremely harsh, malicious, or harmful.
And, like most things, even the overuse of the word toxic can become, well, toxic.
The extreme of anything can eventually become harmful, ultimately becoming a dominating or oppressive position that moves you further away from the benefits you had hoped to gain.
In the example of wellness, if we become rigid and extreme in our approach, it can ultimately do us more harm than good.
For example, we might begin by wanting to adjust our diet to improve our health but become so entrenched or lost in the perfectionism of it all that we ultimately become more stressed, grip for control but lack freedom, lose sleep, and make ourselves feel worse.
Yuck. I've been there; when I first went back to school to learn about nutrition and wellness coaching in 2020, I found myself in a cyclone of information overload and had to sort out what was useful and what was harmful. This discernment process is essential to help you steer clear of a life of never-ending fixing and instead stay grounded in your inner knowing.
Coming home to your peace can be an overwhelming task that, in my experience, requires a deeper connection to your intuition, unique body, and personal power.
Like many things, improving our wellness requires balance, but it is often easier said than applied. Especially when billion-dollar industries and a bevy of pyramid schemes hiding behind well-intended humans are doing their best to get you to buy their products, gadgets, and "quick fixes."
Layer that with marketing that plays off shame and guilt by introducing concepts of morality into the mix, and we have a shit show associating food and health with principles of right and wrong.
I mean, do you need to "earn" or "work off" your "sinful" brownies?
Are you a good girl because you went to the gym?
Do you reward yourself with food?
Do you reward yourself for your willpower to abstain from pleasure?
Do you find yourself looking down on someone who "gave in" or hiding behaviors because you think they are "naughty"?
Do you find that you're afraid of everything that might "harm" you and loosing your love for life in the process?
How are you trying to prove your worth via your wellness routine, productivity, or restrictive diet?
Can you do nothing and surrender or receive and still feel worthy?
How are you being manipulated by corporations using morality to shame you into using their products?
While you ponder those questions, allow me to continue to explore.
I want to be clear, I'm not blaming anyone, nor do I think generalizing an entire industry is fair or productive.
I don't believe the wellness industry is toxic - nor do I think it's a savior.
Like everything, we need to consider the intentions behind the action, AND we should be allowed to decide who or what companies we support.
However, it's crucial to notice cultural programming and toxic conditioning that have you feeling shameful for being human, becoming fearful, abandoning your personal power, or swearing off pleasure - as, ultimately, the intent is to capitalize on these feelings in some way.
Who is making money off of your fear? Fear of disease, fear of aging, fear of life?
What if you didn't have to fix yourself?
What if there is nothing about you that is broken?
When we realize our personal power and the self-healing capabilities of our bodies, we offer the worst nightmare to companies trying to capitalize on our insecurities.
When we realize we can heal from pleasure, that things "break" 'to send us warning signals and offer us insights on how to adjust, and that the most impactful healing modalities are free, we stop any toxic wellness, beauty, big pharma, or diet industries in their tracks.
When we become too reliant on the latest diet trends, supplements, testing, etc., our nervous system can get stuck in a hyper-vigilant state and always on the lookout for danger. This pattern of perfecting can put us in a perpetual state of feeling like we need to fix ourselves, sending messages to our nervous system that something IS wrong.
However, if you are in pain or dealing with health issues, I understand firsthand your desire to "fix" the problem and find some solutions. In times like these, we value well-intended knowledge, medical advances, and supportive resources. And thank goodness they are out there! There are so many aspects of our health and wellness that we can take aligned action and empowered steps to help us feel better – ultimately improving many aspects of our lives.
This paradox of the positive and negative aspects of the wellness industry illustrates so clearly why it's so important to know yourself and discover what works for you and what doesn't so you can take aligned and helpful action that supports YOUR efforts.
I think the saying noting – you have to know the rules to break the rules – is applicable here. In my journey, my healing required that I dive in head first for a while and learn as much as I could about nutrition, wellness trends, disease, pros and cons of medical interventions, spiritual lessons, ancient teachings and healing modalities, the latest scientific breakthroughs, and more before I could eventually get to the place that allowed me to sift through, apply what was helpful (and I did apply much that helped me heal), and "turn off" the rest to come home to my inner knowing, intuition, and sit in the peace of my own power. I have committed to showing up for myself in small ways daily, finding beauty in the ups and downs, and focusing on the simple beauty of life.
If you are finding that your wellness routine is reducing the aspects of your life that bring you pleasure, you might want to explore some of my suggestions below.
14 Ways to Find More Peace on Your Wellness Journey
Start by looking within and really taking a good look at yourself and your experiences and how they might impact your wellness journey. It is essential to remember that one size does not fit all. For example, if you experienced trauma around your body when you were young, you might be more susceptible to having feelings of hypochondria when you start studying health/disease. Additionally, you might want to focus on modalities that bring you into your body, like dancing, grounding, shaking, etc., rather than only meditation or similar spiritual practices.
Or, if you have had challenges with eating disorders or perfectionism, you might be more inclined to feel overwhelmed by focusing too much on diet and nutrition or either "fawn" or become obsessive with information overload. Look out for yourself during this process and take notice of any patterns that might be more destructive than helpful.
Look for places to "ease up" and reduce the amount of information you feel you need to surround yourself with – unfollow social accounts that remind you daily of dangers and diseases or suggest a rigid approach to your diet or healing process. Instead, follow more lighthearted accounts that share simple beauty, playful posts, joy, and positivity.
Explore your internal balance of yin and yang/feminine and masculine energies to cultivate a beautiful combination of empowered action and ease and flow.
Work to unwind deep-rooted patterns and feelings of not being enough, not being worthy, and needing to prove yourself or your productivity. Explore where those thoughts and feelings might come from and see how they impact you.
Become a conscious consumer - not only of products but of everything in your life - your media choices, who you hang around with, the accounts you follow on social media, etc.
Explore free ways to heal, like morning sunshine, good sleep hygiene routines, less light in the evenings, minimizing digital device/screen time, more time playing in nature, journaling, intimate pleasures, grounding, gratitude practices, connection to your food, joyful hobbies, intention, mending relationships, prayer, meditation, reading, time with friends and family, and volunteering your time.
Allow ebbs and flows, ups and downs, and seasons - trust yourself to return to homeostasis.
Pay attention to the simple beauty all around you – we make things either special or mundane by the kind of attention we give to them.
Don't wait for someone else to tell you what is possible - believe in your own miracles. Needing proof or logic behind everything will eventually lead you away from your intuition.
Integrate podcasts, products, coaches, doctors, resources, books, etc., that you feel aligned with, but never forget you are your own best resource, and nobody knows you better than you know yourself. Allow outside information to support you in the process but never forget that you must commit to yourself daily. Information overload can be very addictive.
Step away from urgency or fix it culture - ultimately implying you are behind or broken. Instead, be mindful of being stuck in a constant state of improvement and missing your current life in the process.
Make light of the process where you can and explore more opportunities for play, silliness, lightheartedness, and pleasure.
Above all else, be kind to yourself and offer yourself grace. We are ALL perfectly imperfect, and that's what unites us as humans. It’s time to let go of the lie that you need fixing.
Finally, enjoy the evolution without needing a conclusion. Allow yourself to be present and okay with what is. We will never find all the answers we seek outside ourselves - we have to look inside and take the time necessary for that process.
I wrote this in 2022 but it feels just as relevant today. I hope you found it supportive!
With wild warmth,
Denise
